I remember Kargil

I remember Kargil- thinking of war. I remember being in my second year, still in A block room 3 and this feeling of patriotism running through the hostel. We had a TV but rarely watched the news - it was left to the TOI to supply me with information. Some of use were desperate to go out and help, shd we have enlisted? Perhaps not, considering that I might have been more useful as a medic than a soldier. I promised myself that if the opportunity arose again, I would have served as a doctor on the frontline. Was I being stupid? Isn't war a waste and honour after death an illusion?

We are all going to die, what differentiates us is the manner of our death. So,isn't it just easier to die in an honourable cause rather than from Cancer or malaria or Diabetes - either that or die after you have done something famous. If not, just die in a war - you might be remembered otherwise join the rest of faceless humanity in making fossil fuel for our children.

I wish I was at Kargil- somehow dealing with death everyday makes you believe in your own immortality. Thats what keeps doctors alive for so long - every germ has invaded,exhausted by belief not the immune system.

What an interesting year its going to be

1. If either Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama becomes the presidential nominee for the DEmocrats, they will make history. Will the US public reinforce stereotype and not vote for a black/woman or will America make my dreams and my choice to live there easier? Will USA get a woman president? It will be interesting to see whether they will get the nomination? I suspect there isn't a option to these two and Clinton should make win inside the party - but to win the presidential election might be another thing.

2. Will Federer win the Grand Slam? Quite possible except for the French? Considering he reached the finals last year, whats to stop him winning?Nadal - I think he has Nadal's number this year? My suscipicions are that Federer has worked him out and I think this year, Federer will face scares from lesser opponents who have tried to work him out.

3. Will India win the World Cup? No!

4. Will I finish my Ph.D? Yes

101 Poems against war

I bought this book - 101 Poems against war. Its not as good or as bad as I thought it might be when I bought it(amazon.co.uk).Its got poems by Emily Dickinson (one of my favourite pieces), Yeats, Seamus Heaney, Rudyard Kipling. For all I dont like about Kipling and all I like about him, there are these lovely epitaphs he wrote during the War:
" If any questions why we died,
Tell them, because our fathers lied"

A SON:
"My son was killed while laughing at some jest,I would
I knew
What it was, and it might serve me in time when jests
are few."

The ones I like the best though are some of the non- English poets. One I like the best is this poem about the 2nd world war by Bertolt Brecht titled "War Has Been Given A Bad Name". Its a lovely ironic poem about how the 2nd world war is viewed as more immoral than the first. Its ten lines detailing the Nazis and how professional, industry, academics allegedly protested against the Nazis and therefore deplored the Nazi actions but not the war. It ends by implying that germans think the war was not immoral, just the Nazis were. Incredible! There is another French poem about parents continuing their pastoral life while their son lies in the graveyard and their routine doesn't change except for daily trips to the graveyard.

There are lots of poems about the futility of war and death of young men. I love poetry only because its far more poignant, musical and often mystical. I spend lots of time trying to read the poem correctly - find its metre and rhythm. I invariably find that I ponder, dream and muse more after reading poetry rather than prose.


Talking about war - I remember my outrage and frustration at the Lebanese war six months ago by Israel under some really obscure excuse - I was even angrier than when the US and UK invaded Iraq. Is that because Saddam was being evicted in Iraq? Wouldn't it be great if the whole world could be like BIG BROTHER and we could evict dictators and leaders across the world by a ballot! Call into the UN security Council for your vote - calls cost ISD 60Rupees - some networks may charge extra for the calls.

Talking about poetry - Newsweek yesterday was discussing Daljit Nagra, an British asian poet writing about his life as an Indian immigrant in the UK ina funny, humorous way. I havent read the poems but might buy his book to be released in Feb.

WORLD BIG BROTHER!! What do you think? Will we get racist remarks in that house? Let me imagine Bush, Hugo Chavez, Chirac and Ahmadinejad - Shilpa and Jane Goody pale in comparison compared to these guys!

Paes and Bhupathi spat

This is what started it. This is what Paes said and this is how Bhupathi retorted. I feel sad that our greatest modern sporting heroes had to end their partnership on such an ugly,distasteful note. If there were Doordarshan Sports Personality of the decade - surely these two would get it. Its one thing to be top of the world in Cricket played at the highest level by approximately 200 men and another to be the best in tennis against about 1500 or more players!!

Being in the UK only snooker,cricket and the premiership are covered by the media or shown on TV, which of course just means that I have missed the entire Asian games this year. Not that it means anything, with India only winning 10 golds and finishing after Iran and Kazakhstan. Also,hockey was a disaster and the only saving grace was tennis and shooting. Of course, the IOA messed up again and their faux pas with Jaspal Rana has to be the funniest cock up in the history of Indian sport.

Cricket

Am watching the cricket. India have scored 225 for the loss of 9 wickets with an effective with a lead of 400. This is surely the chance that India need to win their first test in SA. VRV Singh is playing a cameo but has been run out very stupidly. This was not needed but anyway seems ok. We have one over before lunch. The aim really is to get some quick wickets. WE have just got the first wicket – fourth ball of the first over and the only over before lunch.

Brilliant. I am really happy I decided to come to college early in the morning to watch some cricket. Its been a long time since I woke up early to watch cricket. I did this for the 2003 India- Australia series. We had the Aussie and Indian Rhodies getting together in the Martin Building to watch Sky TV at 2am. It was great because the series turned out really well. India were amazingly competitive in the entire series with Ganguly setting the tone with a gutsy 100.

Plan for today :

Buy Secret Santa gift

Get things ready to send off stuff tomorrow – GMC,USMLE and Fogarty application.

Write discussion for paper.

Wash clothes

Blackwells First AID

I went to someone’s place for dinner yesterday. I met her rather strangely. JVZS was exploring a romantic liaison with the lady and invited her around for my experimental idli dinner. The idli was half steamed – and disgusting. I couldn’t eat it and the entire dinner went downhill from there. Anyway, we kept in touch and yesterday was payback dinner which was far better than anything I could have cooked. We ended up watching X factor finals which was won by Leona. 17 year old from East London with an incredible voice, terribly shy and a lack of personality - India have just got Smith!! 2 down – 8 to go. I was ready to leave but am going to stay behind for another few overs. I do want to watch India win their first test in SA!! WOW!!

Is this ridiculous? I consider myself a level-headed character, unexcitable and yet I am really into this test match and rooting for India. I wish we win because it will be such a boost to the team after the ODI disaster. I can’t explain why I get so caught up with India’s sporting exploits! I just think we need to spruce up our act. I am annoyed at the fact that we cant produce decent sportsman despite our talent pool. Why cant the stupid government do anything about it? - SA lose third wicket!! – Amla out to Sreesanth, caught behind to a lovely ball.

Well done Sreesanth. Sreesanth is a real character. Reminds me very much of AI in Oxford. Mad dude – totally unpredictable, fast but unruly. Passionate with no inhibitions to demonstrate it. Now, they have DADA bowling. What is Rahul dravid thinking? I mean, Ganguly bowls at 115kph, that’s like me bowling fast. Kallis has just picked up two fours easily and I think this is releasing some of the pressure.

Ranting about adolescent humour!!

Should we laugh at the ICMR's latest study about Indian penis' being too small for international condoms to be effective. The article was the most widely read and emailed on the BBC website. I wonder why? Of course, it was brought to my attention and I was made fun of. No doubt, millions of young Indian males across the world are being teased and mocked. I somehow, couldn't see the funny side of it.Well,truthfully I could and couldn't ...

Perhaps its just me getting prudish and prickly at my manliness being punctured. Perhaps its the medic and scientist in me. Whatever the reason, I noticed two things.
1. This is probably the most important project the ICMR has undertaken for a long time. Think about it for a bit and you might realise this study may help prevent a huge number of STD's in India.

2.While being jeered I suddenly realised how difficult it is to get people in India to talk about sex, sexual health and anatomy normally. What my friend found the funniest was that 1200 men volunteered to have their penis' measured. Well, how else did they expect to answer the problem? Also, the first reaction to the story was comedy - not once did people think of the science and research involved. Can you imagine if educated people can only take this to be a source of entertainment and ridicule, how difficult it must be to talk about such items in a rural, conservative traditional environment?

Maybe it is age and maybe my hurt ego that I have got so wound up about it, but here is our apex Medical body trying to make a contribution and if I may hazard, a damn important one. Consider that our only chance to halt the HIV epidemic is sexual education and condoms, what is so funny?

I also blame the BBC for potraying this study and its results so poorly. Here is a similar issue in the UK and the NHS. The BBC writes the article in a very different way and it doesn't come off so bad. The difference is that in the UK people might go to their GP and talk about split and loose condoms - of course, thats never going to happen in India.

Anyway, you get the point- Kudos to ICMR for pushing and finishing this study. It would never get into the NEJM as an original article but if nothing else - perhaps the IgNobel prize??

modelling q

Following testing of blood for HCV, the number of new infections has dropped remarkably. The problem is chronic HCV and the question is can we bring down incidence of any disease low enough that it no longer is a problem? isnt that eradication and similar things are happening with HIV in South Africa. The prevalence of the disease is stabilised because the number of deaths equals the number of new infections.
Can we model how much we need to decrease infection to prevent a disease being a public health problem?