I have decided that before I leave I shall visit and spend one day in every single library in Oxford as long as they provide me entry.
I have spent the day working at Rhodes House, which is a brilliant place to work if you have your books and have all your material. Its quiet, small, stocked with coffee and if you are there on a Wednesday, SP makes cakes.
So, its a perfect place to study. In fact, if you dont need your computer, its brilliant as you have no distractions.
So, I got CV path and Vascular path finished today. Tomorrow, I have tutorials on virology and have to read essays tonight. In the morning its going to be GI path.
The night is going to be spent doing FACS analysis and making figures for my paper.
Friday morning meeting at 11am and then back home for sleep and 5pm- am taking LA to play pool in college.
The evening is going to be spent, most likely, either sleeping or watching the rest of Syrianna or perhaps doing some Q's. I shall never know...
BTW, if you are interested in great pathology websites - WEBpath is really good. Some nice gory pictures and has exams to test yourself.
Wednesday, January 31
Sunday, January 28
Immature ego defenses and friends
I have just realised that my attitude to friendship and friends can be pyshologically classified as "splitting" - an immature ego defense.
This is after reading USMLE first AID - so I cant take it very seriously except that it sounds plausible. Basically it is an attitude where you beleive that all people are either all good or all bad. I shall say no more -many arguments have been had in this regard. Suffice to say, I rest my defense.
This is after reading USMLE first AID - so I cant take it very seriously except that it sounds plausible. Basically it is an attitude where you beleive that all people are either all good or all bad. I shall say no more -many arguments have been had in this regard. Suffice to say, I rest my defense.
Saturday, January 27
Centuries and and a class apart
The difference between the centuries. Lord Byron saying goodbye farewell to his lover and perhaps the best break up poem I have ever read.
Compare it to what in a moment of madness I called the "break up song of our generation" ( I take it back. let posterity never remember me thus.) - Goodbye my lover- James blunt.
Fare thee well! and if for ever,
Still for ever, fare thee well:
Even though unforgiving, never
'Gainst thee shall my heart rebel.
Torn from every nearer tie.
Seared in heart, and lone, and blighted,
More than this I scarce can die.
absolutely stunning. he has written some beautiful poems. I spend the mirning eating cereals and reading Byron or Emily Dickinson.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
What can I say except Hollow, so hollow.
Compare it to what in a moment of madness I called the "break up song of our generation" ( I take it back. let posterity never remember me thus.) - Goodbye my lover- James blunt.
Fare thee well! and if for ever,
Still for ever, fare thee well:
Even though unforgiving, never
'Gainst thee shall my heart rebel.
Would that breast were bared before thee
Where thy head so oft hath lain,
While that placid sleep came o'er thee
Which thou ne'er canst know again:
Would that breast, by thee glanced over,
Every inmost thought could show!
Then thou wouldst at last discover
'Twas not well to spurn it so.
Though the world for this commend thee -
Though it smile upon the blow,
Even its praise must offend thee,
Founded on another's woe:
Though my many faults defaced me,
Could no other arm be found,
Than the one which once embraced me,
To inflict a cureless wound?
Yet, oh yet, thyself deceive not;
Love may sink by slow decay,
But by sudden wrench, believe not
Hearts can thus be torn away:
Still thine own its life retaineth,
Still must mine, though bleeding, beat;
And the undying thought which paineth
Is - that we no more may meet.
These are words of deeper sorrow
Than the wail above the dead;
Both shall live, but every morrow
Wake us from a widowed bed.
And when thou wouldst solace gather,
When our child's first accents flow,
Wilt thou teach her to say "Father!"
Though his care she must forego?
When her little hands shall press thee,
When her lip to thine is pressed,
Think of him whose prayer shall bless thee,
Think of him thy love had blessed!
Should her lineaments resemble
Those thou never more may'st see,
Then thy heart will softly tremble
With a pulse yet true to me.
All my faults perchance thou knowest,
All my madness none can know;
All my hopes, where'er thou goest,
Wither, yet with thee they go.
Every feeling hath been shaken;
Pride, which not a world could bow,
Bows to thee - by thee forsaken,
Even my soul forsakes me now:
But 'tis done - all words are idle -
Words from me are vainer still;
But the thoughts we cannot bridle
Force their way without the will.
Torn from every nearer tie.
Seared in heart, and lone, and blighted,
More than this I scarce can die.
absolutely stunning. he has written some beautiful poems. I spend the mirning eating cereals and reading Byron or Emily Dickinson.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
What can I say except Hollow, so hollow.
House of death
House of death
I fell absolutely ashamed that our police can be so indifferent, callous and corrupt.
This might be the biggest problem facing India today - corruption of state protection, whether that be the police, prison or judicial system.
Would I be able to live in a society and community where people dread approaching their protectors in case their wrath and fickle attention turns on the victim rather than the accussed? Yes, fortunately we have never required to go to the police, but what if we had to? Is there any point in it? Will I be taken seriously? Will instead I be put in jail and my family persecuted? How can we live in such an unjust society and allow ourselves to wallow in apathy? Why cant I stop writing this blog and actually do something about it?
It reminds me of the famous statements by anti-Nazi activist Martin Niemoller:
First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.
I fell absolutely ashamed that our police can be so indifferent, callous and corrupt.
This might be the biggest problem facing India today - corruption of state protection, whether that be the police, prison or judicial system.
Would I be able to live in a society and community where people dread approaching their protectors in case their wrath and fickle attention turns on the victim rather than the accussed? Yes, fortunately we have never required to go to the police, but what if we had to? Is there any point in it? Will I be taken seriously? Will instead I be put in jail and my family persecuted? How can we live in such an unjust society and allow ourselves to wallow in apathy? Why cant I stop writing this blog and actually do something about it?
It reminds me of the famous statements by anti-Nazi activist Martin Niemoller:
First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Ladies final - update 8
GAME S'pova. 4-1 Williams. Thank God!
40- LOVE. Williams is hitting some lovely shots.
The crowd screams for the single point that S'pova wins.
5-1 Williams and the last game of the match?
67 minutes only and S'pova serving to prolong the humiliation.
Sharapova's second serve just sits up waiting to be hit. 15-15.
40-15. Ace and service winner.
5-2 Williams. and she will come out to serve for the Championships.
Serena is calm, concentrated and looks absolutely focused. Its almost like she is playing for her life and for her reputation. Its almost like she is playing to retire.
Anyway, here is she serving for the match and the championship.
Composing herself.
15-0. Long point. Making the world's best player run side to side.
30- 0. Ace.
She does need to change her dress. Its an eyesore,but who cares when you are playing like this.
40- 0. Ace.
GAME,SET,MATCH AND CHAMPIONSHIP. Its all over in 75 minutes.
Congratulations Serena Williams. You deserve it after playing an absolutely incredible,astounding and heavenly hour of tennis.
Maria is devastated,shattered and really doesn't know what to do. She is sitting on her chair with a bottle of juice to her mouth not even bothering to drink, just head down and wondering what hurricane just ran through her on the Rod Laver Arena.
Well played, all credit to the Williams camp.
40- LOVE. Williams is hitting some lovely shots.
The crowd screams for the single point that S'pova wins.
5-1 Williams and the last game of the match?
67 minutes only and S'pova serving to prolong the humiliation.
Sharapova's second serve just sits up waiting to be hit. 15-15.
40-15. Ace and service winner.
5-2 Williams. and she will come out to serve for the Championships.
Serena is calm, concentrated and looks absolutely focused. Its almost like she is playing for her life and for her reputation. Its almost like she is playing to retire.
Anyway, here is she serving for the match and the championship.
Composing herself.
15-0. Long point. Making the world's best player run side to side.
30- 0. Ace.
She does need to change her dress. Its an eyesore,but who cares when you are playing like this.
40- 0. Ace.
GAME,SET,MATCH AND CHAMPIONSHIP. Its all over in 75 minutes.
Congratulations Serena Williams. You deserve it after playing an absolutely incredible,astounding and heavenly hour of tennis.
Maria is devastated,shattered and really doesn't know what to do. She is sitting on her chair with a bottle of juice to her mouth not even bothering to drink, just head down and wondering what hurricane just ran through her on the Rod Laver Arena.
Well played, all credit to the Williams camp.
Ladies final - update 7
SHarapova has never faced anyone in the last 2 years who can match her for power, pace,accuracy and depth.
Williams is playing tennis of a level she will never be able to reproduce ever again, but once in your career is enough.
S'pova just doesn't know what to do? I dont think she anticipated this kind of tennis. She is used to being the player who hits the ball hard and with depth and I doubt has ever faced anyone who can match her shot for shot(and better her at it).
So, it looks like its all over for S'pova.
4-0 Williams. Easy hold, nothing too exceptional. Ace, winner down the line, winner, unforced error from s'pova and game over.
Williams is playing tennis of a level she will never be able to reproduce ever again, but once in your career is enough.
S'pova just doesn't know what to do? I dont think she anticipated this kind of tennis. She is used to being the player who hits the ball hard and with depth and I doubt has ever faced anyone who can match her shot for shot(and better her at it).
So, it looks like its all over for S'pova.
4-0 Williams. Easy hold, nothing too exceptional. Ace, winner down the line, winner, unforced error from s'pova and game over.
Ladies final - update 6
Williams is just waiting for the serve to hit the winner.
Steffi beat Arantxa in '94 6-2,6-0 - quickest ever women's final. Can we beat that record today.
Finally, Maria is finding her serve.
40-15, a chance to hold. Will she take it? not if she serves a double fault.
40-30.
Deuce.
She is almost crying out there.
Advantage Williams. What a point. Williams hits a backhand pass off balance.
deuce
Adv Williams
Ace. Deuce.
Williams is very much looking like the good old negro lady now. Afro pulled tightly back. Weight showing in all the right places. Curves just beginning to develop.
Adv Williams - double fault.
First fault. Sets up the point but makes an unforced error in trying to hit the winner and gives Williams the break.
3-0 Williams and is it over?
Steffi beat Arantxa in '94 6-2,6-0 - quickest ever women's final. Can we beat that record today.
Finally, Maria is finding her serve.
40-15, a chance to hold. Will she take it? not if she serves a double fault.
40-30.
Deuce.
She is almost crying out there.
Advantage Williams. What a point. Williams hits a backhand pass off balance.
deuce
Adv Williams
Ace. Deuce.
Williams is very much looking like the good old negro lady now. Afro pulled tightly back. Weight showing in all the right places. Curves just beginning to develop.
Adv Williams - double fault.
First fault. Sets up the point but makes an unforced error in trying to hit the winner and gives Williams the break.
3-0 Williams and is it over?
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