I cant take it anymore. I am sick of reading my first year medical stuff and not remembering anything. What difference does it make to the world if fructose 1,6 -phosphatase is part of the gluconeogenesis cycle or glycogen synthesis cycle.

My life is entirely futile. I will write a thesis on adenoviruses and no one in the world will care about it. The only reason for writing the thesis is to get a degree which means nothing. Its like a badge of achievement which you keep collecting as you go through a life and career which finally results in meaningless, mundane existence focussed on making enough money to send your kids through college.

It might be because I am growing older or perhaps that I am doing too many things at the same time, but surely there must be more to life than writing some papers or worrying about your next job? I am slowly coming to believe that no one who is successful, as defined by present day norms, is actually happy. They are simply manic- depressives who flit between periods of contentment and bouts of frustration and despair. I wish we could just stop the world for a second and ask people where they are going and why?

Perhaps we have only one function - to procreate. simple, focused objective. procreate and make sure that your progeny survive.

Perhaps, we are here to save the world? perhaps, we are here to enjoy?what joy? perhaps, it is time to find what excites us truly and do it? Perhaps, this is my midlife crisis - my dark side,my "brooding side" as the Little One calls it? Maybe I need a delhi GK park talk? hmmm.......

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Yeah, sure but what do I stare at?